Tuesday, 25 December 2018
marriage omens
my grandad has two wedding rings. He was only married once and lindsay and margaret are still going strong. What happened was right after he got married, he lost his wedding ring. You know, like an idiot. after about a year of it not turning up, he got another replacement ring. he wore the replacement ring for about thirty years before the original ring turned up. The problem with his original ring was that it was a bit big and after thirty years of being used to his replacement ring, he decided to just keep wearing it. yet again, like an idiot, he loses his ring, the replacement ring this time. so grandad decides to get his original wedding ring resized by a jeweler. so he was wearing the ring he had once lost and the ring he used to wear was now lost instead. but, lo and behold, a few years later and the replacement ring turns up again. when my grandad told me this story, he joked 'after all these years of marriage, the rings wouldn't give up on our marriage.' two rings, both lost, both found again. it must be a good omen.
Tuesday, 13 November 2018
It's half-baked Idea vomit time.
Howdy y'all. Okay so I'm in that writing mood again where I really want to write something but I just can't think of a way to start something or really what I would even write about. It's so frustrating and I just watched this YouTube video where this young woman who was a published author was giving brutal advice to young or new writers. A lot of what she was saying was that if you aren't writing you aren't a writer, and spending your time planning and brainstorming things to write isn't writing. this really bummed me out because I want to be a writer but all I do is kind of spend a bit of time developing half-baked ideas which is super frustrating because I feel like writing about them and using them but then my brain comes up with excuses because I haven't fully formed them yet and clearly I can't write when I haven't thought every detail of my ideas through. UGH my brain is so stupid. Yet I am my brain. So I guess my brain just insulted itself? Weird.
Anyway. The whole point of this was that I could use the structure of my blog posts to sort out my ideas a bit so I have something to write about, which should work for me because the way my blog posts are, they are just word vomit which is how my brain thinks most of the time anyway so at least this way I'm getting those words out instead of developing my ideas a bit and then forgetting them.
My first idea/concept/i don't know what has to do with a pirate society. Of course I am all about those strong female leads so I want my main chick to be, well, a chick. But not just any chickadeee. I already named her because I just love a good name, her name is Gaia although that is subject to change. I do like gaia though but maybe i will change the spelling gaya does that look more piratey?? eh its my world I don't have to be following any rules. I am well aware though, that 'strong female lead' has become synonymous with physically strong kick-assery female lead which I dig but also kick-assery is less important to me than having a nuacnced and complex relatable character. I think I am going to have her parentless? although maybe not. I think it would be cool if one of her parents died and then she still has one parent and that parent is supposed to be captaining the ship but the loss of dead parent crippled them. that could make for some interesting internal conflict with gaya, maybe she isn't ready or doesn't want the burden of responsibility that the ship entails. even more interesting though, what if gaya had an older sibling, a brother , and he was supposed to be the next captain of the ship but there was an accident, perhaps the same one her dead parent was involved in, and he is killed sudenly. so gaya is suddenly drowning in responsibility and gried, and the one person who should be helping her shoulder the burden, the person who she always looked up to maybe?? is part of the cause.
I do like that actually. But now I have to figure out what happened to her brother and mother. i want her mother to be a total badass, fighting misogyny since 1880 total joan of arc type. OOH maybe she could die john snow style?? no too elaborate, this story isn't about her. I think it would be devestating enough if her mother was this great and powerful female figure and then she is taken away by something so small, like a cold or an infected wound (RIP DROGO) something like that. her brothers death i will leave for now, I could make it part of her motivations I love a good vengeance story.
OOH what if she is on this vengeance fueled quest for her brother and there comes a point where she has to choose between her vengeance and the safety of her crew.
anger begets more anger three billboards style?? I really like that message. UGHH YESSSS and I can show her developing, becoming obsessed and consumed in her hatred and anger.
I want a scene where she just breaks down and she isn't supported by a man but her sisters, her crew.
okay so I think I have achieved maximum strong female lead-ness with this. she can still be a total kick-ass chickadee.
OH what if when she has to assume power of the ship, the crew rejects her? I would love that. there could be a scene where she throws everyone overboard who is disloyal to her and then she gets a brand new female crew YES
okay I'm thinking ot get rid of the whole father is a drunk after the death of mother thing? i think the brother death and shock of responsibility is enough? wait no, the more fuel for her angry fire the better.
I would really like to introduce all her new crew members as flashbacks? that would be fun and it would slow down the narrative a bit.
I think I've got that off to a good start now.
My other main idea is a sort of magic system in a world. At first it was just gloves but I'm thinking of developing it into other stuff now because gloves just haven't proved to be practical.
the thing was that the gloves would store magic, and there would be heaps of different kinds, piano playing gloves, elemental magic gloves, hair transforming gloves, run your hands through your hair and it changes your hair style. The possibilities are really endless. and it could be that gloves are really coveted amongst the people, and also really hard to get on or off, so sometimes in the rougher areas of town, you would find handless corpses. I did really like this glove idea but then I had more ideas. this kind of magic system would transfer really easily into other things, like earrings, cufflinks, glasses. More subtle accessories.
I've just had an idea. I think it would be cool if gloves were considered a lower class kind of magic and the subtler stuff, earring, cufflinks, pocketwatches etc, were what the upper class used. Except the upper class used a different kind of magic, an influential magic? so your earring could give you extra charisma, or your rings could make you appear more beautiful. the idea is that the upper class have use for a magic that helps them social climb and influence. OOH the really snobby rich folk could look down on the gloves of the common folk, seeing it as a brutal kind of magic.
I am getting tired and I have written a lot but I might come back and actually write or maybe do a bit more developing of things
IDEA
what if I combined these two worlds?????????????????? that could work.
Anyway. The whole point of this was that I could use the structure of my blog posts to sort out my ideas a bit so I have something to write about, which should work for me because the way my blog posts are, they are just word vomit which is how my brain thinks most of the time anyway so at least this way I'm getting those words out instead of developing my ideas a bit and then forgetting them.
My first idea/concept/i don't know what has to do with a pirate society. Of course I am all about those strong female leads so I want my main chick to be, well, a chick. But not just any chickadeee. I already named her because I just love a good name, her name is Gaia although that is subject to change. I do like gaia though but maybe i will change the spelling gaya does that look more piratey?? eh its my world I don't have to be following any rules. I am well aware though, that 'strong female lead' has become synonymous with physically strong kick-assery female lead which I dig but also kick-assery is less important to me than having a nuacnced and complex relatable character. I think I am going to have her parentless? although maybe not. I think it would be cool if one of her parents died and then she still has one parent and that parent is supposed to be captaining the ship but the loss of dead parent crippled them. that could make for some interesting internal conflict with gaya, maybe she isn't ready or doesn't want the burden of responsibility that the ship entails. even more interesting though, what if gaya had an older sibling, a brother , and he was supposed to be the next captain of the ship but there was an accident, perhaps the same one her dead parent was involved in, and he is killed sudenly. so gaya is suddenly drowning in responsibility and gried, and the one person who should be helping her shoulder the burden, the person who she always looked up to maybe?? is part of the cause.
I do like that actually. But now I have to figure out what happened to her brother and mother. i want her mother to be a total badass, fighting misogyny since 1880 total joan of arc type. OOH maybe she could die john snow style?? no too elaborate, this story isn't about her. I think it would be devestating enough if her mother was this great and powerful female figure and then she is taken away by something so small, like a cold or an infected wound (RIP DROGO) something like that. her brothers death i will leave for now, I could make it part of her motivations I love a good vengeance story.
OOH what if she is on this vengeance fueled quest for her brother and there comes a point where she has to choose between her vengeance and the safety of her crew.
anger begets more anger three billboards style?? I really like that message. UGHH YESSSS and I can show her developing, becoming obsessed and consumed in her hatred and anger.
I want a scene where she just breaks down and she isn't supported by a man but her sisters, her crew.
okay so I think I have achieved maximum strong female lead-ness with this. she can still be a total kick-ass chickadee.
OH what if when she has to assume power of the ship, the crew rejects her? I would love that. there could be a scene where she throws everyone overboard who is disloyal to her and then she gets a brand new female crew YES
okay I'm thinking ot get rid of the whole father is a drunk after the death of mother thing? i think the brother death and shock of responsibility is enough? wait no, the more fuel for her angry fire the better.
I would really like to introduce all her new crew members as flashbacks? that would be fun and it would slow down the narrative a bit.
I think I've got that off to a good start now.
My other main idea is a sort of magic system in a world. At first it was just gloves but I'm thinking of developing it into other stuff now because gloves just haven't proved to be practical.
the thing was that the gloves would store magic, and there would be heaps of different kinds, piano playing gloves, elemental magic gloves, hair transforming gloves, run your hands through your hair and it changes your hair style. The possibilities are really endless. and it could be that gloves are really coveted amongst the people, and also really hard to get on or off, so sometimes in the rougher areas of town, you would find handless corpses. I did really like this glove idea but then I had more ideas. this kind of magic system would transfer really easily into other things, like earrings, cufflinks, glasses. More subtle accessories.
I've just had an idea. I think it would be cool if gloves were considered a lower class kind of magic and the subtler stuff, earring, cufflinks, pocketwatches etc, were what the upper class used. Except the upper class used a different kind of magic, an influential magic? so your earring could give you extra charisma, or your rings could make you appear more beautiful. the idea is that the upper class have use for a magic that helps them social climb and influence. OOH the really snobby rich folk could look down on the gloves of the common folk, seeing it as a brutal kind of magic.
I am getting tired and I have written a lot but I might come back and actually write or maybe do a bit more developing of things
IDEA
what if I combined these two worlds?????????????????? that could work.
Saturday, 20 October 2018
things I love
A lovely list of things I love
1. the word idiosyncrasies and also idiosyncrasies
2. banana milkshakes
3. ice water
4.art and the artists of the world
5. poetic shit
6. a really good book and a rainy day
7. hummus
8. the movie austenland
9. Musical theatre (hadestown, hamilton, dear evan hansen, etc)
10. chicken nuggets
11. going to the movies
12. BELLARKE
13. geek club
14. my post it wall
15. the front top seats in a double decker bus
1. the word idiosyncrasies and also idiosyncrasies
2. banana milkshakes
3. ice water
4.art and the artists of the world
5. poetic shit
6. a really good book and a rainy day
7. hummus
8. the movie austenland
9. Musical theatre (hadestown, hamilton, dear evan hansen, etc)
10. chicken nuggets
11. going to the movies
12. BELLARKE
13. geek club
14. my post it wall
15. the front top seats in a double decker bus
things I hate
a lovely list of things i hate because why not.
1. the narrator from come dine with me (pompous twat)
2. brendan tiffen
3. songs with fade outs (so unsatisfying)
4.most surfaces in my grandparents kitchen
5. having a pimple right on my brastrap
6. feeling that need to sneeze and then it goes away adgsdkjfg
7. looking through dirty glasses
8. when you go to drink something and you thought it was nice and cold but it is actually lukewarm
9. getting things in my hair(like ice cream and stuff)
10. chewing gum (with a passion )
11. capitalised youtube video titles - so aggressive
12. onions
13. wet shoelaces
14. when I get itchy underboob
15. how i cant play flash games on my chrome book because im missing arrow keys
1. the narrator from come dine with me (pompous twat)
2. brendan tiffen
3. songs with fade outs (so unsatisfying)
4.most surfaces in my grandparents kitchen
5. having a pimple right on my brastrap
6. feeling that need to sneeze and then it goes away adgsdkjfg
7. looking through dirty glasses
8. when you go to drink something and you thought it was nice and cold but it is actually lukewarm
9. getting things in my hair(like ice cream and stuff)
10. chewing gum (with a passion )
11. capitalised youtube video titles - so aggressive
12. onions
13. wet shoelaces
14. when I get itchy underboob
15. how i cant play flash games on my chrome book because im missing arrow keys
cat poem bitches
"I feel like I am being watched. Every step I take, they are judging my choices, they are breathing at my neck, they are scrutinizing my every move. The paranoia escalates and I don't understand why I feel like I am being watched until I remember that at any given time there are at least five cats in my household."
- cat poem
I love this poem. Basically "Cat Poem" is these two girls who are performing a poem about their intense love for cats, but they do it with that same intensity and anger that is so characteristic of spoken word. It is hilarious and just the best thing I have ever heard.
Most of all I think i like how lighthearted it is. So much of spoken word and slam poetry is about all these really intense and heavy topics that are fueled by emotion filled performance, and I love that-- I do, but I love this as well. I like how they are perhaps inadvertently making the statement that you don't need to have deep rooted issues and conflicts within you to be able to write and perform spoken word, you can just really like cats, which, Jesus Christ, these girls really like cats.
it also got me thinking about what is a poem really? well actually this poem I saw on hello poetry got me thinking about what is poetry really and then I typed what makes a poem a poem into you tube and this came up and I just had to watch it again because it is just that good.
Any way, the poem I saw on hello poetry is just this untitled one line piece that goes, "I can't have a good day today because my best friend has to ruin it for me". At first I read this and I wasn't sure is this really qualified as a poem but I've been thinking on it some more and now I'm not so sure.
Just for fun, I think I am going to try analyze it.
"I can't have a good day today because my best friend has to ruin it for me."
lets see. Maybe this is saying 'is this person actually my best friend' because i think not. A real best friend doesn't blow out your candles to make their light shine brighter. I don't think the author of the poem should be letting their shitty 'best friend' ruin their day. I think if I was in this situation i would just remove myself from their company and surround myself with people who don't try and drag me down into their despair.
I don't think it's the length that makes me think 'is this really a poem?' but the non poetic nature of it? if I had read this and it wasn't on hello poetry or some other poetry website, I would just think this was a diary entry or something.
Maybe that is what makes it a poem though, when you think about it poems kind of are peoples diaries, this is just a more blunt, direct route I suppose. Maybe i should start using hello poetry as my diary and see what responses I get. literally one of the comment on the poem was 'thank you for sharing' but that's what all poems do, they share a bit of your inner thought with the outside world.
I used to think what makes a poem a poem is the intent with which it written. a think a poem should always be aiming to say something and I suppose this poem is.
maybe putting restrictions on what a poem is is a bad idea, because then people are put off trying to write poetry, but I think there should be some rules? otherwise people will be saying that the fish and chips menu is poetry. God I have no idea, im just trying to make sense of the messes in my head. Ugh i hate that I'm kind of starting to understand the whole 'my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.' thing. Blah, such cheese.
- cat poem
I love this poem. Basically "Cat Poem" is these two girls who are performing a poem about their intense love for cats, but they do it with that same intensity and anger that is so characteristic of spoken word. It is hilarious and just the best thing I have ever heard.
Most of all I think i like how lighthearted it is. So much of spoken word and slam poetry is about all these really intense and heavy topics that are fueled by emotion filled performance, and I love that-- I do, but I love this as well. I like how they are perhaps inadvertently making the statement that you don't need to have deep rooted issues and conflicts within you to be able to write and perform spoken word, you can just really like cats, which, Jesus Christ, these girls really like cats.
it also got me thinking about what is a poem really? well actually this poem I saw on hello poetry got me thinking about what is poetry really and then I typed what makes a poem a poem into you tube and this came up and I just had to watch it again because it is just that good.
Any way, the poem I saw on hello poetry is just this untitled one line piece that goes, "I can't have a good day today because my best friend has to ruin it for me". At first I read this and I wasn't sure is this really qualified as a poem but I've been thinking on it some more and now I'm not so sure.
Just for fun, I think I am going to try analyze it.
"I can't have a good day today because my best friend has to ruin it for me."
lets see. Maybe this is saying 'is this person actually my best friend' because i think not. A real best friend doesn't blow out your candles to make their light shine brighter. I don't think the author of the poem should be letting their shitty 'best friend' ruin their day. I think if I was in this situation i would just remove myself from their company and surround myself with people who don't try and drag me down into their despair.
I don't think it's the length that makes me think 'is this really a poem?' but the non poetic nature of it? if I had read this and it wasn't on hello poetry or some other poetry website, I would just think this was a diary entry or something.
Maybe that is what makes it a poem though, when you think about it poems kind of are peoples diaries, this is just a more blunt, direct route I suppose. Maybe i should start using hello poetry as my diary and see what responses I get. literally one of the comment on the poem was 'thank you for sharing' but that's what all poems do, they share a bit of your inner thought with the outside world.
I used to think what makes a poem a poem is the intent with which it written. a think a poem should always be aiming to say something and I suppose this poem is.
maybe putting restrictions on what a poem is is a bad idea, because then people are put off trying to write poetry, but I think there should be some rules? otherwise people will be saying that the fish and chips menu is poetry. God I have no idea, im just trying to make sense of the messes in my head. Ugh i hate that I'm kind of starting to understand the whole 'my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.' thing. Blah, such cheese.
Tuesday, 24 April 2018
The feel of a thing.


The feel of a thing is a pretty abstract thing to be thinking of. And I've been thinking about it a bit lately. The concept first came to me when I was watching a Proko video (He's the white guy in the black dress shirt) I think it was about painting en plein air and he was saying how some landscape artist actually add in or leave out certain things into a landscape to make it as true to the feeling of the landscape as possible, whether it be color, tone, objects, gesture, that kind of thing. which was a really cool concept to me and brought up some thoughts about art and the world. Its just such a cool concept to me, that everything, it doesn't even necessarily have to be a landscape, has a truth to it. It could be a place or a face, a group of people, an organisation, a country, pretty much anything. Deep as shit, right?.
The black guy, Mario Robinson, does mainly portraits but also some landscapes and whole body stuff. He is such a serious guy, this video illustrates it really well. His art is all about capturing a simpler time, his art reflecting an era of solitude and reflection, where people grew old without trying to be young and people had deep and lasting connections with other people, which I guess is why he does a lot of portraits, I love his portraits because even though they are just water and pigment, his people have such a depth to them, like their souls are painted right on their skin. Something that I think is really powerful about art is, as Mario says 'The real power of art is the ability to galvanize and organize all those pigments and materials and pour a soul into it'. Which is also what I love about art, the ability to express complex thoughts, concepts, questions and ideas into a physical space, into the material plane and that our brains have the ability to process and link and relate that to ourselves and the world around us and everything in between. I think that's amazing.
Lastly, the third guy up there is John Darnielle, singer songwriter of the band 'The Mountain Goats'. He co hosts the podcast 'I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats' with writer Joseph Fink of Nightvale Presents. It is a podcast dedicated to the Mountain goats music, each season they cover an album, each episode they cover one song. I think it was the song 'absolute Lithops effect' or maybe it was 'source decay' but he was talking about how it was his favourite song on the album because it was so generic, so nonspecific. because he used musical techniques to capture the aura of the song, of the moment its describing rather than to be more heavy handed and specific in his storytelling. because, in the case of john Danielle, he tends to treasure these unknowns as a tool in his story telling, being non specific and general causes his audience to focus on what his songs are trying to say as opposed to what his songs are literally describing.
This all leads me to my final point, what is it that makes such an abundance of individuality and soul to this world? is it the multitude of idiosyncrasies that fit together to make no two things identical? like snowflakes or finger prints, or is it more of an undercurrent, a soul to this earth that some are more adept at seeing and bringing up to the surface of the world? Is it the poets, the painters, the dancers, the actors, the sculptors, the artists whose objective it is too see the world through soulful eyes and get others too see it too? maybe.
Sunday, 21 January 2018
Three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri.
I recently watched the movie 'three billboards outside ebbing, Missouri' I thoroughly enjoyed this, like, a lot. I thought woody harrelson was great as was frances mcdormand. in the film, frances mcdormand plays mildred hayes whose daughter was brutally murdered several months ago and still the culprit has not been found. mildred then decides to put up three billboards directed toward ebbing chief of police portrayed by woody harrelson.
the things that i enjoyed about the film was the acting, the use of theme and the character development. I did find that frances mcdormand seemed to have one face on for the entire movie, though it was fitting to her character. woody harrelson was amazing, the role fit him like a glove, i quite enjoyed sam rockwells performance and of course, peter dinklage was astounding although i always think peter dinklage is astounding. i liked how the theme was used in the film too, and how pamela, the ditzy nineteen year old revealed it in the 'anger begets anger' scene. because at this point in the film it could not be more relevant. mildred up until this point has show very little except anger- she burnt down the police station and drilled a hole in the dentists thumb. this scene is happening in a restaurant where she is on a date with peter dinklages character james, and we see 'anger begets anger' in action. she is to caught up in her own anger to even notice james it seems and he leaves the restaurant.
the character development in the movie was sort of good. i liked mildreds character development, from a person of great anger to a person of slightly lesser anger. dixons (sam rockwell) character development seemed slightly unearned, he went from a racist, lazy bigot who threw a man out of a window to a reasonabl human being just because he read a letter and was in a fire. PFFT.
I still really enjoyed the film though and 10/10 would see again.
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